Afraid not Scared

summer is ending, i'm not scared, but i'm a little afraid

i’ve been quiet. the entire month of july i was in my hometown and it was rough, but driving to the santa cruz redwoods and playing in the river was healing. i spent all of august reminiscing on this delicate life i live. i’m struggling a lot mentally and as I write this, it’s the last day of summer for me. so i am spending it getting high and creating a space for all of the things i’m obsessed with right now.

i start to miss my life in california more and more everyday, i’ve never been so homesick, and it’s showing up after three years of being away. the privilege i had. the beach was at my hands whenever i wanted. at dawn, under the moon. i didn’t go in the ocean but i wrote and i got lost in my thoughts, and i felt connected to my friends, and my body. my home.

hidden in the santa cruz redwoods is a creek I try to live at during the summer. i want to be there always.

these are the only girls in my life who have seen me grow up, watched me move away, and miss them so much that i visit any chance i get.

photos i like a lot from this summer

more things i’m obsessed with,

if i hadn’t reached the email length limit, i would say more words. i will have to write to you more often to say everything i want.

love,

hailey